FLIP THE SWITCH
A few days ago, I completely missed my turn while driving to the induction ceremony of my cousin. It took me about 45 minutes to retrace my steps and extra liters of petrol (gas). Considering the fuel scarcity situation in Nigeria, this is not the time to “miss your road,” using the Nigerian slang. As soon as I realized my mistake, I knew I had to choose my response carefully. Because how I reacted would determine my mood at the event, and probably throughout the day, and more importantly, my peace. One of the things I vowed to retain in these times is my peace and oneness with God: A restful mind devoid of hurt, anger, and irritation. And I must deliberately choose to do things differently each time. “Do not waste one moment in regret, for to think feelingly of the mistakes of the past is to re-infect yourself.” – Feeling is The Secret, Neville Goddard ALL THINGS WORK OUT FOR MY GOOD So, I paused the message I was listening to and decided to enjoy the journey. I realized I had not taken time to “see” the road. It dawned on me, that I had come as far as about 15 minutes to Wumba, where I spent 11 months for the mandatory National Youth Service Corps (NYSC). I expressed gratitude for having come this far. After all, two years ago, I had declined an invitation to visit the same place because I considered it was too far from me. Some minutes later, I saw the NYSC camp where I spent three weeks in 2010. I had tears in my eyes as I realized that God had brought me far since that time. I reflected on the different events in my life, the good and the bad, the losses and gains of the past years, and more importantly the growth. This “mistake” helped me to reflect on God’s faithfulness over the last 13 years since my NYSC days and I was grateful to Him. Anyway, I got to the event, and I was just on time. I got to the venue earlier than my uncle who invited me. I had the opportunity to get a good seat close to the window, and I used the time to watch the college students. I noticed their youthfulness, zeal, vibrancy, wisdom, and the energy with which they clapped to celebrate the graduates. Eventually, it was a good day for me. I HAD A CHOICE Why is this even important to count as a blog post? Remember, this is my open journal, a place where I share my insights, learnings, and musings with you. But this is not the reason, it is because I learned that I had a choice. How I react to things or people is entirely my choice. Something similar happened in 2023 when I missed my turn because I was listening to a message again (LOL). I was carried away with the message and did not realize it until almost 20 minutes later. The mistake changed my day as I went from being excited to being tired. I condemned myself for losing my focus and remembered how it had happened before because I was not paying much attention to the road. But this time I flipped it and decided to “see” good only. I chose to be positive and to “see” the environment. There was a lot to be grateful for even when it looked like things went wrong. WHAT ABOUT YOU? We can be positive even when things are not so good. We have a choice to let go, forgive ourselves, and heal early. Otherwise, we may be swallowed up in self-pity, anger, bitterness, and self-loathing. Unfortunately, the more negative feelings we give out, the more of it we get. This affects subsequent events in our lives which further worsens the negative feelings we are having. It is a self-perpetuating cycle. The fuel for more of it is the feeling, and this outcome is our choice. A feeling- negative or positive, feeds on itself to give birth to more of it. “Whatever you feel, whether good or bad, determines your frequency, and you attract the people, events, and circumstances that are on the same frequency.” – The Power, Rhonda Byrne Ever wonder why they say, be joyful? Because joy births itself! When we give out joy, love, hope, etc, we get even more joy, love, and hope. Events happening work together to bring us more of these positive feelings. Being joyful births more of its kind and being loving births more love for us. The moment I decided to flip my reaction, I started to notice important things that I missed while driving just a few minutes earlier. In addition, I had an amazing outing. I did not miss out on the beautiful band at the event; I loved the excitement of the inductees and the joy of their parents, and I was grateful for my parents as I remembered my induction into the medical profession in 2009. I thought this post would encourage you always to flip the switch and turn the light on. Choose not to walk along a familiar path- a familiar way of thinking, reacting to circumstances and doing things. You have a choice. Life does not happen to you, you happen to live, deciding how it should look. The most important lesson is this: the more negative energy we emit from our thoughts and feelings, the more negative circumstances we attract, and this will continue until we break it. The same principle applies to positive feelings. “How you feel in any one moment is more important than anything else, because how you feel right now is creating your life.” – The Power, Rhonda Byrne This is the year to flip the switch and I know for sure; that it will be a rewarding one. I believe in you. Yours truly LIVE-ing Titilayo.
The Returning Bride
Every dawn, your memory echoes in my mind, Awakening with the symphony of our love entwined. As I ponder your love notes, penned just for me, My heart swells with a fervent passion, wild and free. “I love you!” you declared amidst scorn and shame, Enduring trials, a relentless love aflame. A radiant smile graced your face, undeterred, Through the trials endured, your love never blurred. In your gaze, dreams of shared tomorrows gleamed, Rewards envisioned, a vision brightly dreamed. With a smile aimed at me, you found delight, In thoughts of us, you concluded, “It’s worth the fight.” “Wait for me,” a simple plea you uttered, “I will return, the wait won’t be cluttered.” Yet impatience crept into my yearning heart, Long nights, craving your touch, tearing apart. In need of solace, comfort, and your embrace, I sought elsewhere, entangled in a false embrace. Deceived by promises, a treacherous lover’s vow, I dismantled our bed, seeking solace here and now. Deception reigned, and illusions crumbled, A thief, a deceiver, my world tumbled. He spoke ill of you, painted lies with art, A destroyer of dreams, he broke my heart It wasn’t worth the pain, the deceit, the fall, Fooled and broken, I longed to heed your call. Ashamed to return, fearing your disdain, A chance encounter sparked hope again. Your friend, a guide by the stream, Shared your relentless pursuit, a love supreme. Letters penned through years, a testament true, A vision board adorned with images of us two. I’m back, abandoning my water pot in the mud, Inconsolable, yearning for your love, like a flood. You were my first love, my guiding light, I’m back, no longer naïve, ready for the fight. Facing him, I severed the deceitful tie, Tellingim it’s over, bidding him goodbye. Shocked, he questioned the source of the truth, Oh, my love, it was your friend, a voice uncouth.My first love, my anchor, my truest friend, I’m back, the returning bride, ready to mend. In you arms, I long to find reprieve, To rediscover the love we once believed. Your scent, your kisses, your tender touch, Memories of our love, I’ve missed so much. In my thoughts, you’re the one I pursue, Yes, you, my love, my anchor, my true.
From Waiting to Living: Changing the Waiting Game
Uncategorized My husband and I have enjoyed a life of grace and God’s mercy for the past seven years. Although, this does not mean we have not had our share of ups and downs, including our waiting journey. If you are here, I presume you have a copy of my book, L.I.V.E. If you haven’t had the chance to read it yet, kindly grab a copy here. It was a personal struggle for me to write it, especially in choosing the most appropriate title and content. During its conception, I remember searching online for a suitable book title for women waiting for children, and the word “wait” commonly appeared in previous books. But I had reasons to question it. According to the Collins Dictionary, the act of waiting is associated with inactivity until the occurrence or appearance of something or someone. Generally, waiting is not an easy phenomenon. Human beings are impatient and tend towards early gratification. I also found that women in this category go through several emotions that make the journey difficult, some of which are triggered by cultural and religious expectations. For example, I tended to pull away from people and situations that reminded me of my waiting journey. Most of the time, there was no real harm intended. I later found that I had not learned to be graceful and grateful on my journey. When I started to question this attitude, I found that I did not like to be associated with the dissatisfaction of “waiting” for a child. “Am I truly waiting?” I asked. Do we wait for something we already have? I don’t think so. If someone were to tell me they were waiting for something I knew they possessed, I would be more than happy to point it out to them. Imagine frantically searching for a pen stuck in your hair or hidden in one of your bag compartments. You may become anxious if its use is urgent and even borrow a pen. It is always such a relief when someone points its location out. I believe it is the same with “waiting for children. God said we already have them. How do I know this? Because He said so. We have every good thing needed for life and godliness in Christ Jesus. Salvation offers health and wholeness, and nothing new is being made because God has entered His rest. As Andrew Womack often says, “It’s already yours.” I firmly believe that we already have children. What we need is a change of attitude, from someone “waiting” to someone who has received the gifts of God and is living a graceful life. I encourage you to embrace the idea that you already possess what you seek. It is not something beyond your reach or something you are anxiously seeking or waiting for; it’s something you already have. Someone once told me, “Do you know it is your fault if you are lacking anything?” Initially, I found this statement offensive. Then, she painted this scenario where, “in Heaven, God was asking for an account of the children He gave me to nurture, and I am surprised at Him because ‘He never gave me a child.’ But He points to the first, second, and third child; then, their children, grandchildren, and the entire generation that should come from me, because He had given them to me from the beginning of the world.” God forbid! I understand if this is difficult to accept now and I mean no offense. But I am inviting you to change your mindset today. Let’s start seeing things the God kind of way. Are you truly waiting I believe that omitting the word, “wait” in my book title was intentional. God wants us to L.I.V.E gracefully while embracing all we have in Him. This is my invitation to you. Warmly,Titilayo.